The Trouble With Love Is
by American Idiot's Broken Dreams
Summary: [REPOST] A collection of songfics surrounding the life of our favorite Degrassi characters. Major drama, angst, romance, and humor lie ahead!
1. Confessions

**Confessions  
**Written by: American Idiot's Broken Dreams

* * *

_**These are my confessions  
**__**Just when I thought I said all I could say  
**__**My chick on the side said she got one on the way  
**__**These are my confessions  
**__**Man I'm thrown and I don't know what to do**_

He had thought that everything would be okay after he and Emma broke it off. That she would be a part of his past that he would seldom have to visit, but he was wrong. She kept revisiting his thoughts, invading his words, and weaving through his feelings. She just would not go away. It wasn't that she was there physically, but just the mention of anything environmental—trees, recycling—her soft, gorgeous face.

Emma Nelson just would not let Sean Cameron be. She would not let him and Ellie live a happy life. But, Emma's reawaking from her past wasn't completely Emma's fault. After all, he was the one that had started the affair. All it took was that once drunken kiss to send him into a spiraling world of sex, sneaking around, and deception. And all it took was one clumsy mistake for Ellie to find out.

After that, he and Ellie had a heart to heart and he told her everything. About every rendezvous, lie, and adulterous actions he had had with Emma. He had never seen Ellie cry so much in one night and he had never forgiven himself for causing every tear she shed. But, regardless, she had forgiven him and still loved him—and he felt so much better about having every lie and story off his chest. Emma Nelson was part of his past that he no longer had to visit and he truly, confidently believed that she would never turn up in his life again. That was, until today, when he got the phone call that would change his life.

_**I guess I gotta give part two of my confessions  
**_**_If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all  
_**_**Damn near cried when I got that phone call  
**_**_I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do  
_**_**But to give you part two of my confessions  
**__**

* * *

**_

Just as Ellie had left for work, the telephone rang and Sean had casually answered it, thinking that it was Craig or Jimmy wanting to get together for lunch or something. But when the sweet, delicate voice he hadn't heard in four months floated through the receiver, he nearly dropped the phone.

"Hey, Sean, how are you doing?" she said softly.

"Emma, what are you calling here? I thought I told you not to call here after we broke it off." Sean said, a little rougher than he meant to.

"I know, but this is important, more important that anything we've ever been through." Emma led on, with a frightened tinge to her voice.

Looking around, as if Ellie were still in the house, he agreed, "Okay, what is it."

_**Now this gon' be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do  
**__**Got me talkin' to myself askin' how I'm gon' tell you**_

"Look, there's no easy way to say this, and I don't want you to get angry with me or hang up on me." Emma procrastinated worriedly.

"Emma, just spit it out." Sean sighed, getting annoyed.

"I mean, Sean, this really isn't easy. And I know your going to hate me." Sean rolled his eyes at Emma's prolonging of whatever she was going to tell him.

"Will you tell me already?" he exclaimed harshly.

'_**Bout that chick on part one I told ya'll I was creepin' with, creepin' with  
**__**Said she's 3 months pregnant and she's keepin' it**_

"I'm three months pregnant, Sean, and I'm going to keep it," Emma blurted out.

At the same time, Sean blanched and the air left out of his lungs. Maybe she just needed someone to talk to about this…maybe she just didn't know where to turn…maybe it was because he was the father.

_**The first thing that came to mind was you  
**__**Second thing was how do I know if it's mine and is it true  
**__**Third thing was me wishin' that I never did what I did  
**__**How I ain't ready for no kid and bye-bye to our relationship**_

"So, you're telling me this because?" he said, hoping his thoughts weren't true.

"Because, Sean, you're my baby's father!" Emma said this as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.

Before any other thought could register in his mind, the only word that echoed through his mind was, _Ellie_. Ellie had already forgiven him for having the affair with Emma, but how, how in the world was he going to accept the fact that he had a baby with another woman?

But, how was he positive that this baby was for him? After all, could you really trust a woman that had convinced you that an affair when you were married wasn't that bad? For all he knew, this baby could be Chris's or some other guy she been fooling around with before him. _Yeah_, Sean assured himself falsely, _this baby might not even be mine_.

And if he wanted to believe this, then how come his mind wasn't letting him? Now, suddenly, above everything else he had ever done, he was regretting his affair with Emma the most. How could he have done something so stupid and, and irresponsible. And on top of that, was he even ready to be a father? He and Ellie had only been married a year and three and a half months and haven't even begin discussing having children. It was just making love and hoping that she took the Pill that day. Now, all of that would be down the drain because he was sure that Ellie was going to leave him.

_**These are my confessions  
**__**Just when I thought I said all I could say  
**__**My chick on the side said she got one on the way  
**__**These are my confessions  
**__**Man I'm thrown and I don't know what to do  
**_**_I guess I gotta give part two of my confessions  
_**_**If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all  
**__**Damn near cried when I got that phone call  
**__**I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do  
**_**_But to give you part two of my confessions_**

"How do you know it's mine?" Sean suddenly blurted, feeling the sudden urge to cry.

"Sean! You're that only other person I've been with since, well, Chris, okay. So, I'm positive that it's you. The last time we were together was four months ago, I'm three months along…it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that it's yours." Emma explained.

"Wait…you lied to me!" he realized that the last time they were together, just like every time they were together, he asked if she was on the Pill.

And that time she said yes like always, but this phone call proved wrong. He wasn't going to take responsibility for Emma's mistake—not if she had purposely planned this.

"Yeah, I know," she muttered in a small, fragile voice.

"So you planned this! You did this on purpose!" he shouted into the phone, slamming his hand on the counter.

"I'm sorry, but it was the only way!" Emma pleaded.

"It was the only way what, that you could ruin my life! My marriage!" Sean yelled furiously.

"Sean, wait hear me out!" Emma sounded desperate, but no matter how desperate she was, Sean wasn't going to give in.

"Hear you out! Emma, you've just ruined everything? What do you expect me to do, just leave Ellie and say, 'Wow, I've got a family with you now, Em, let's skip off into the sun set with each other!' is that what you think in going to happen?" Sean exploded.

"No, I just—I need you, Sean. I don't want Ellie to have, because I need you more! We've been through too much together for me to let you go! I love you, Sean," Emma was now in tears over this whole situation.

"I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way. I love Ellie way too much to get involved with you again. I'll send child support and what have you, but I can't get involved with you again, I can't break Ellie's heart again."

"But, Sean—" Emma had no time to profess anything else to Sean, because he hung up.

_**Sittin' here stuck on stupid, tryna figure out  
When, what, and how I'mma let this come out of my mouth  
Said it ain't gon' be easy  
But I need to stop thinkin', contemplatin'  
Be a man and get it over with (over with)**_

Sean must have sat there for what felt like eternity thinking everything over that had just happened. How was he going to tell this to this Ellie? I mean, exactly how do you tell your wife that on your last fling with your mistress that she lied to you about taking the Pill and now's she pregnant? And when was going to tell her? He couldn't wait till Emma called him at the hospital, some six months from now to say she had had the baby.

That's when he decided he needed to stop thinking and do it. Just come out and tell Ellie not matter what the consequences—after all she had forgiven him once, why couldn't she do it again?

* * *

_**I'm ridin' in my whip  
**__**Racin' to her place  
**__**Talkin' to myself  
**__**Preparin' to tell her to her face**_

Arriving at the news station where Ellie worked as a producer, Sean found that all the ways to Ellie that he rehearsed were sinking into the pits of his stomach, along with his heart. He was more nervous than he could have ever imagined, he didn't want to break Ellie's heart, but he had to tell her. He had to get it over with.

"Hi, um, is Eleanor Nash-Cameron available right now." Sean asked, in a quavering voice.

"Oh, hold one minute, Mr. Cameron, I'll see if she's available." The receptionist scooted off to fill his request.

What if she hates me? Will she ever speak to me again? Thoughts much like this ran through Sean's head as he peered through Ellie's office window. She looked so beautiful; her long, curled auburn hair hanging down to her shoulders with grace, her quarter-sleeve black shirt, and a pair of straight grey slacks with black pumps. It was a beautiful look on her, but anything was beautiful on her—his wife, his first true love. The receptionist snapped him from his thoughts.

"Mr. Cameron," she said gently, "your wife will see you now."

_**She opened up the door and didn't want to come near me  
**__**I said "one second baby please hear me"**_

Before he could turn the knob, Ellie snapped the door open, a subtly furious look in her eyes. He attempted, to lean forward and kiss her, but she didn't allow—in fact, she took a whole step back from him.

"Ellie, baby, there is something—" Sean started off, trying to get right to chase.

"Sean Hope Cameron, don't you dare." Ellie growled in a low, upset voice.

"But, Ellie, sweetheart, please hear me out," Sean pleaded.

_She must know_, he thought desperately, _she has to know_.

"Hear you out? Sean, I know! Emma called me a half hour ago, she told me everything! How could you!" Ellie was on the verge of tears by now.

"Eleanor, this is not my fault!" Sean nearly yelled; he was desperate to make her believe him not Emma.

"Yeah, and I suppose Little Miss Homewrecker is asexual and she decide to give her sprout your last name!" Ellie shouted.

"She lied to me, Ellie; she told me she was on the Pill when she wasn't!" Sean defended heatedly.

"Yeah right, Sean! I just hope you're happy because now you'll have two children to pay child support to!" she shouted.

"Ellie, I—" Sean was about to say something else when her words registered in his head.

Two children? Did Ellie just say two children? That means that she was…

"Ellie, are you pregnant?" Sean murmured weakly.

"Yes, Sean, I'm pregnant." Ellie confirmed, turning away from him and facing the window that exposed the downtown Toronto area.

Under normal circumstances, he would have been happy, but this was suddenly a huge weight being pressed to his chest. Now, along with his child with Emma, he had another with Ellie. How did his life manage to spin out of control in only a few hours?

"Ellie, I—"

"Don't say anything to me Sean. Just get out, leave." Ellie murmured.

"Come on, Eleanor," Sean pleaded.

"Leave, Sean!" she demanded, through her tears.

"Fine, I'm going." Sean conceded, feeling his own tears prick at the back of his eyes, "I'm sorry, Ellie, I'm sorry."

Ellie said nothing as Sean backed out of her office slowly and initially out of her life for good.

* * *

**_Twelve and a half months later_**…

Bouncing her six month old son, Tyler Nash-Cameron, on her hip in an attempt to get her to stop crying, Ellie walked into her three bedroom apartment, tired from a long night with Tyler and an even longer day at work. With his reddish-brown hair and her jade green eyes, Tyler looked exactly like Sean.

Everything about little Tyler was Sean, his smile, his laugh, and even the way he got angry. Sometimes, Ellie hated to wake up and see her ex-husband in her son, but it was just something she had to deal with—and besides, Tyler was just too beautiful and sweet not to love.

She sat Tyler in his playpen, and went to check her messages, a daily routine every day after work. The blinking light on the machine told her she had a message, so she pressed play and got comfortable while she listened.

But, she wasn't even able to slip out of her pantyhose before she froze. The voice echoing through her empty apartment was the only and only voice that made her heart beat slower and faster at the same time. It was the voice of Sean Cameron.

He sounded tearful, and near his wits end, and Ellie's hand immediately found her throat in an attempt to keep from crying.

"Eleanor, its Sean. Please, don't cut this off before you hear me out. I'm calling to tell you I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry for everything I've ever done to you concerning Emma, and the affair, and Andrew, my other son. It was wrong of me to not worship you like you truly deserved to me worshiped and for that I hate myself. All I'm saying is, I miss you, need you, and am still in love with you.

"I know you haven't given me that chance to redeem myself or be a real father to Tyler, but I'm telling you now that I want to be. About a month after Andrew was born, Emma disappeared. Literally. No one, not even her mom or stepdad have been able to find her to I'm left to raise Andrew by myself, and I don't want to do that. I want the chance to be a real family with you, Tyler, and if you'll allow it, Andrew. Ellie, I don't want to lose you forever. So, please, when you get this message, please, just, just call me back. I-I love you."

From his playpen, as the message went off, Tyler reached up and giggled, "Dada!"

"Yes, baby, Daddy." Ellie said, tears shining her eyes.

She picked up the phone, and when the line was answered, it was the voice she'd been longing to hear for twelve, long months.

"Ellie?" Sean said hopefully.

"Yes, Sean, it's me. I got your message." Ellie smiled.

"Ellie, before you go on, I just wanted to say that **_this by far is the hardest thing I think I've ever had to do, to tell you, the woman I love, that I'm having a baby by a woman that I barely even know_** anymore**_. I hope you can accept the fact that I'm man enough to tell you this and hopefully you'll give me another chance this ain't about my career, this ain't about my life, it's about us. Please_** forgive me." Sean whispered tearfully.

A baby cried in the background, loud, horrible wails, and Ellie figured that that must be Andrew, the baby Sean had with Emma. Suddenly, she felt for them. The both of them. She suddenly didn't care that Andrew was Emma's baby—from now on, they would be their own family, whether Andrew came from her or not. She already loved Andrew as if he were her own.

"I'll forgive you, Sean. I'll forgive you for everything, but on one condition."

"Anything," Sean replied breathlessly.

"You have to come over, bring Andrew, and we have to talk. No more secrets, no more lies, no more covering up to save the others feelings. I want you to confess everything." Ellie positioned.

"Of course. I wouldn't have things any other way," Sean finally broke down crying, his tears a solid release for everything that had happened in the last two years.

_**These are my confessions  
**__**Just when I thought I said all I could say  
**__**My chick on the side said she got one on the way  
**__**These are my confessions  
**__**Man I'm thrown and I don't know what to do  
**_**_I guess I gotta give part two of my confessions  
_**_**If I'm gonna tell it then I gotta tell it all  
**__**Damn near cried when I got that phone call  
**__**I'm so throwed and I don't know what to do  
**_**_But to give you part two of my confessions  
_****_

* * *

_**

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything but the plot and Andrew Cameron and Tyler Nash-Cameron. I don't even own the song, it belongs to the unbelievably, indescribably sexy Usher Raymond.

* * *

That was simply beautiful, wasn't it? I think this is my best song fic ever…and don't mind the bridge, but I had to put it like that so it wouldn't left out, so don't think it's you if it doesn't completely make sense. I hope this pleased all you Sellie fans. Sigh, chapter one of the "The Trouble With Love Is". If you read my profile, you'll see why this is happening. 


	2. How Could This Happen To Me?

**How Could This Happen To Me?  
**Written by: American Idiot's Broken Dreams

* * *

_**I open my eyes  
**__**I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light  
**__**I can't remember how  
**__**I can't remember why  
**__**I'm lying here tonight**_

She opened her eyes and tried to figure out where she was. But, all she saw were shadows and a brilliant, nearly blinding white light. Where was she? She couldn't be anywhere else except speeding down the highway and gripping the half empty bottle of whiskey.

Emma Nelson had left her only child on the doorstep of his father's house over three months ago and that's when her life had fallen apart.

Andrew Shane Cameron was her beautiful baby boy, born at a healthy seven pounds and point-zero-two ounces. He looked a lot like Sean, but his smile was hers, his eyes were hers, and that beautiful, golden blonde hair belonged to the both of them—Sean and Emma together. But, apparently, Sean still didn't want her.

After all they had been through together, after he had saved her life, after that had happened between them—Sean still want the family they deserved to have together. All she wanted was Sean. The one man she'd ever loved, truly, didn't love her back, and that was more than she could take. That's why she had tried to kill herself.

"Miss Nelson," the nurse called while she inserted the IV into the back of her hand. "Can you tell me what happened?"

_**And I can't stand the pain  
**__**And I can't make it go away  
**__**No I can't stand the pain**_

"I was driving," Emma began dazedly, "and I wanted it to end. Everything, all my problems, troubles—I wanted them to go away!"

"Miss Nelson, are you trying to say you tried to kill yourself?" the nurse asked solemnly, looking at the doctor.

"I just wanted everything to end. I can't stand it anymore, and I wanted to make it go away. So, yes, I wanted to die." Emma murmured numbly.

_**How could this happen to me  
**__**I made my mistakes  
**__**I've got no where to run  
**__**The night goes on**_

For the next forty-eight hours, Emma was put on suicide watch and no one was allowed to visit her, not even her parents. This gave her more time to reflect on her problems, her life, and how she was going to succeed in committing suicide. After all she had nothing left to live for.

"Miss Nelson?" the nurse called to Emma softly, poking her head through the door. "You have some visitors."

"Send them in," I replied flatly.

A few minutes later, Sean, the one person she wanted to see the most, walked in, with a baby on each hip. One of them, she didn't recognize except for Sean's face, but the other baby was her sweet, beautiful son Andrew.

"Hey, Emma," Sean said lightly.

"Sean, I didn't think you'd get my message." Emma's breath caught in her chest.

"Yeah, well, I checked it after I brought Andrew and Tyler from Jimmy's and I rushed over here. Emma, I can't believe you tried to do this to yourself!" Sean whispered fiercely, as if the two babies could understand him.

He sat the boys on green upholstered couch, and turned to Emma, his gaze firm. The red-headed boy sitting next to Andrew peered around Sean's leg, to look at Emma with concerned green eyes.

"Who's the other kid?" Emma asked, ignoring him.

"My other son, Tyler," Sean informed.

"With Ellie," Emma whispered irately.

Sean was too concerned with Emma's well-being to catch her angry and he waved it off. All he wanted to know was why, why would Emma do this to herself?

"Yes, with Ellie, but that's not important right now." Pulling up a chair beside Emma's bed, Sean turned it to face the window and sat down, facing the bed. "Why would you do this to yourself, Emma? Could life possibly that bad to whereas you want to kill yourself?"

"You don't know what things have been like since, you left Sean. You don't know I had to struggle with post-partum depression after I had Andrew, partly from you leaving, and partly because I knew I wasn't fit to be a mother." Emma's voice was full of emotion and anger.

"But, were things so bad that you had to try and commit suicide?" Sean fathomed.

"You just don't know! That's why I left Andrew with you, because I would have done something stupid like, like starving him to death or beating on him. I was that depressed and miserable." Emma confessed.

"Emma, I don't understand—" Sean began.

"That's right, you don't understand! You don't know what it's like to have this feeling that you're not good enough—for anybody!" Emma almost yelled.

Tyler, who had slipped off the couch quietly, was now standing at the edge of the bed, looking up at his father and Emma with concern. Being the sweet and caring child he was, Tyler worried about what was going on.

"Daddy," Tyler said looking over at Sean.

"Son, Daddy needs you to sit over there and be quiet." Sean said, picking up Tyler and going to sit him back on the couch.

"Daddy, lady cry!" Tyler said pointing at Emma.

"I know, son, but—" Sean tried to sit him back down.

"No, Daddy! Lady cry! Lady sad!" Tyler wiggled down from Sean's hold and toddled over to Emma clumsily.

"Lady okay?" Tyler asked innocently.

Emma looked over to Andrew who didn't seem the least bit concerned with Emma's state or being. He sat there, kicking his feet and looking at the tile.

"Sean, can I hold him?" Emma asked her eyes glued to her baby boy.

"Sure, but I'm not sure he'll come to you." Sean shrugged.

He picked up the content Andrew, and bent over to hand him to Emma. But, to Emma's horror, Andrew shrank back and squirmed.

"No, Daddy," Andrew whined, burying his face in the crook of Sean's neck.

"Come on, don't be like this. Go to your mother." Sean coaxed.

"Not Mommy! Mommy home!" Andrew whimpered, squirming to get down.

"I'm-I'm sorry, Emma, he doesn't know you. He doesn't want to come to you." Sean said somewhat guilty.

"It's okay," Emma murmured numbly, leaning back into the bed.

_**As I'm fading away  
**__**I'm sick of this life  
**__**I just wanna scream  
**__**How could this happen to me**_

Her own son didn't know who she was. The baby she had pushed from her womb, the one she had carried for nine months to term when she could have easily aborted him, did not know who she was.

Of course, she had left him with his father at one month, but that was for his own good. She didn't want to hurt him to come back to the slum of an apartment she lived in or the drugs she had taken to, so she gave up all parental rights to Sean. And because of that, it probably meant that Ellie was his legally his mother.

It wasn't any wonder Andrew didn't know who she was; Sean probably had Andrew calling Ellie 'mommy'.

"It's just that when you left him with me, about six months later, Ellie and I got back together. We are a family now, Em, and you were nowhere to be found." Sean apologized looking guiltily at the space out Emma.

"Leave, Sean," Emma said, her bottom lip quivering.

"Emma, don't. I know you're angry, and you've got every right to be, but, as mean and harsh as this sounds, you brought this on yourself."

"I brought this on myself! Sean, my baby doesn't know who I am! Ellie's son is more concerned with how I am than my own baby. You have could at least shown him pictures so he'd know that I was 'mommy' and not your wife!" Emma nearly screamed, angry tears now streaming down his face.

"You gave up parental rights and disappeared! How was I supposed tell him that you were his mother and not the woman I loved, lived with, and treated him like her own son?" Sean was now heated that Emma could blame him for her mistakes.

The realization of everything hit her like a ton of bricks. Sean was right; totally right. But, she didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to dwell on the past that had gone so horribly wrong. She just wanted Sean and both his sons to leave—because they were reminding him of all her mistakes and how she was nothing more than a sluttish screw-up.

"Go, Sean, leave. Go back to your perfect wife, and your perfect family."

"Emma—"

"GET OUT!" she screamed with finality.

"Fine, I'm sorry we bothered you." Sean gave Emma one last, pitying look, before he took Tyler's hand and led them out the door.

And as the door clicked with a snap, Emma was left with silecen and the realization that Sean had just closed a door on a part of her life—a door that she'd never been able to open, and a part of her past she couldn't relive.

* * *

_**Everybody's screaming  
**__**I try to make a sound but no one hears me  
**__**I'm slipping off the edge  
**__**I'm hanging by a thread  
**__**I wanna start this over again**_

"Emma Stephanie Nelson! I cannot believe you'd do something so stupid and irresponsible! Did you ever think of the consequences if you hadn't succeeded in k-killing yourself!" Spike was shouting furiously, not bothering to notice that Emma was beyond this world.

Since Sean had left, she had slipped into a daze. Nothing mattered anymore; because the one thing that gave her hope and that let her keep going was her son, Andrew. She had hoped that she would be able to hold him again, kiss him, tell him how much she loved him—but those dreams were now cruelly shot down.

She should have been grateful that Sean conceded to letting her hold him, even though he wouldn't come to her. But even that was slowly being crushed by the growing darkness. She had nothing to live for now. It was final. She didn't have her family. She slipped from them ages and ages ago, after the shooting. And that had have been well nine years ago.

It was definite that she wanted to die. No one would miss her. No one would care that Emma was gone and she was sure of it. But, underneath all the dark feelings of death and hatred, all she wanted was to start over.

_**So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered  
**__**And I can't explain what happened  
**__**And I can't erase the things that I've done  
**__**No I can't**_

She wanted to go back to Grade Nine were nothing mattered but the environment, worrying about Snake's health, and helping her mom with then baby Jack. But, should could erase the past or change the things she had done to everybody. She couldn't go back and make things better for Rick so he wouldn't blow his top and shoot Jimmy or wrestle with the gun with Sean, ultimately killing him, and she couldn't go back and say "No, Jay, I don't want to be shown anything". She couldn't even explain why she done what she had with Jay. Emma couldn't do anything to help herself falling into this darkness that threatened her life.

"Emma," Spike had stopped screaming by now and was genuinely worried now

Because the whole time she had been yelling and shouting, Emma hadn't said a word. She just stared at the wall, popping a rubber band on her wrist. Usually, when being fussed at Emma would defend herself, but something just wasn't right about Emma.

"Emma, sweetheart," Spike said softly.

"Are you done yelling?" Emma snapped suddenly.

"I was just making sure you knew that what you tried to do was dangerous and wrong. That's my job as your mother, to make sure you know right from wrong and when you do something wrong, I have to correct you." Spike replied, firmly.

"Fine. I want to see Jack." Emma's eyes were still distant, but she did have a flicker of something in her eyes—an unreadable emotion.

"Honey, I don't think it's a good idea to bring him in here. He's only twelve, and he wouldn't understand what it means for someone to say you tried to kill yourself." Spike murmured.

"Just send him in! I want to see my brother!"

"Okay, sweetheart, just please don't tell him why you are here or try to explain it. That's for me and Snake to handle," With a light touch on the arm Spike exited the room.

_**How could this happen to me  
**__**I made my mistakes  
**__**I've got no where to run  
**__**The night goes on  
**__**As I'm fading away  
**__**I'm sick of this life  
**__**I just wanna scream  
**__**How could this happen to me**_

"Em," she heard someone call softly from the door.

Emma looked up to see her younger brother, Jack. With a head full of shaggy, dirty blonde hair and scared hazel eyes Jack stood at a tall five-seven for his eleven years. He looked at Emma, as though he couldn't believe that she was here and looking like this. He tentatively stepped in the room and closed the door, as if he didn't know what he was doing here.

"Hey, Jack," Emma said distantly.

"Emma, I heard Mom yelling and—and I want to know what happened. Dad said you just got into an accident, but I don't believe that. It's just something about they way he sounded like he was trying to convince himself. So, tell me, what happened." Jack was smart and serious for his age, something Emma was never.

"I can't tell you, Mom said so," Emma said distantly.

"Emma! Don't play this 'Jack's too young' crap with me. I want to know what happened—for real." Jack said, sitting on the edge of Emma's bed.

"You can't tell Mom I told you." For a moment, Emma's eyes came up to meet Jack's.

He was intently looking at her, serious about wanting to know the truth. For an eleven year old, Jack was more mature and wise than Emma was at his age—Jordan proved that.

"Fine, I just want to know," Jack urged eagerly.

"I tried to kill myself," Emma told him, watching his face change from eagerness to shock then anger.

"Why would you do something so stupid!" he nearly hollered, leaping off the bed.

"Jack, you don't understand," Emma mumbled weakly, leaning back on her pillow.

"I understand that you're feeling sorry yourself. Just because you lost Andrew doesn't mean you don't have anything to live for anymore." Jack stated knowingly.

"How'd you find out about Andrew!" Emma inquired sharply.

"Mom and Dad think I'm stupid. They don't know that I know more they give me credit for," Jack smiled grimly, "and besides, I've seen pictures."

"He's beautiful isn't he?" Emma asked her voice full of emotion.

"Gorgeous," Jack assured, patting his sister's knee.

A knock at the door warranted someone else had arrived, and the special moments between siblings. Emma nodded, and Jack announced, "Come in,"

The first thing they saw was a pregnant belly come through the door, and then the rest of Manny Santos, beautiful and in all her glory. Her long, black hair was hanging in her face, curly and loaded down with mousse, and her brown eyes were shining with fear.

"Emma! Thank God," Manny said, spotting her on the bed.

With some difficulty, Manny waddled over to Emma and enveloped her in a huge hug. Just the feeling of Manny pregnancy pressing against her stomach made her want scream out and shout for Andrew.

"Manny, I…you're pregnant." Emma trailed off lamely.

Manny looked down, as if she didn't know her rounded belly was there, and smiled. She rubbed her stomach and looked up at Emma with shining eyes.

"Yeah, seven month along. But, that's not important right now. What's important is why you…" Manny threw a sidelong glance at Jack.

"Don't worry, I know, carry on," Jack said quickly.

Still, as if she wasn't sure, Manny continued in a low whisper, "Em, why'd you try and commit suicide? What in your life is so bad that you can't stand living?"

"Wait," Emma said and looked over at Jack. "Jack, you can go now."

"Okay, but, I want you know that I'm not the nimrod of an eleven year old Mom and Dad think I am. I'm here for you," Jack stood to leave.

"Come here," Emma said, reaching for him.

She hugged him tightly, and placed a kiss on his cheek.

"I love you, Jack, and I'm going to miss you," she said with double meaning.

"Love you too, Em," Jack said and before he left, gave her a look that clearly said, "Don't do anything stupid."

Manny waited until the door was closed to start talking again.

"What's wrong, Emma?" Manny said sincerely, taking the seat next to her. "What's been going so terribly wrong since Sean left?"

Emma looked at the girl who used to be her best friend, and contemplated telling her anything. Emma was spiraling down into a whole, a dark one at that, and the last thing she need was someone who had everything she needed and wanted telling her what she was doing wrong. But, Emma decided, what can it hurt to tell her everything before I go? It's not like she's going to find out after I'm gone.

"I honestly think it started back in Grade Ten, when I got involved with Jay after the shooting…" And Emma dove straight into a long, emotional tale of drugs, sex, affairs, and Andrew, eventually leading up to this slow demise.

By the end, both Manny and Emma were crying and gripping each other's hands. Manny leaned forward, with some difficulty, and smiled sadly at Emma.

"You should have told me, Emma. I would have been there for you, listened to your problems and helped you. You know that," Manny blinked, letting more tears fall.

"Yeah right," Emma scoffed, looking at the ceiling. "You were too busy leading the famous life you had always wanted, going to Paris and London with your fashion, plus traveling around the world with your big, superstar, basketball play of a boyfriend!" Emma cried.

"No, Emma, don't bring him into this. He was nothing to do with his and you know it. I would have been there for you, regardless of where my fashion or James's travels took me. All you had to do was call," Manny said, somewhat angrily.

"Just leave," Emma said suddenly and wearily.

"What?" Manny stated.

"Leave, Manuela, because I have nothing else to say to you." Emma's mood had suddenly shifted from sad and needing to irate and harsh.

"Emma, what are you saying?" Manny didn't understand why her mood had suddenly shifted.

"I'm saying that you never really cared. You just wanted to feel like a good person, so you pretended. And now, nobody can help me, so just leave." Emma looked away, out the window at the bustling Toronto view.

"Okay," Manny said slowly, and she stood up starting towards the door. She was confused, hurt, and mostly angry that Emma wouldn't let her help.

"But Emma," Manny said, her hand on the door.

"What," Emma snapped.

"We might not have stayed best friends, but I still love you and want to help you." And, just as Sean, Manny left and closed another door on Emma. The door that pushed her over the edge.

* * *

**_Two months later_**…

Emma Nelson's hands gripped the steel cool metal of the bridge, her feet steady on the railing. Her parents didn't care anymore. Manny didn't care anymore. Not even Sean, the father of her only child, cared anymore. She had nothing left to live for, but the hopes of dying.

But even that, the hope that she would die from and overdose of crack or spelling pills, had been cruelly taken away from her.

"No one will miss me," Emma mumbled to herself. "So this will be easy."

Her foot slid a little, making her aware that she was going to fall before her time. Today was November eighteen, a day that she would never forget. Because exactly one year ago today, she had brought Andrew Shane Cameron into this world.

_**I made my mistakes  
**__**I've got no where to run  
**__**The night goes on  
**__**As I'm fading away**_

But even that hope was gone. She'd never be able to see Andrew again and she just had to accept that.

The cool November wind tightened around her frail body, but the chill didn't even make her shiver. She was already colder than any physical cold could make her. The first inklings of dawn played on the horizon, and she could see the water crashing and sliding on the rocks that were on the bad of the river. Sharp, jagged rocks that promised nothing but pain; the rocks that Emma needed to stop her pain.

_Just stop thinking_ _and do it_, Emma pushed herself. But, now Emma knew she had to do it for sure. The affects of the weed was wearing off and she knew she needed jump. So, with a trembling body, she let her hands unclench and her body slipped from the railing.

She sped down to the icy waters, her eyes closed; she knew that it would all be over. She wouldn't have to contemplate about how to clean up her act or how to get Andrew back, because she would have nothing more to feel.

_**I'm sick of this life**_

_I'm sorry_, _everybody_, was the only thought running through her mind.

_**I just wanna scream  
**__**How could this happen to me**_

And as Emma's body crashed into the icy waters, her head catching one of the many jagged rocks, all her pain ended. All her misery, hopeless thoughts, and wishes that she could erase the past and do things right disappeared from her mind. Emma Nelson had succeeded in doing the one thing she thought would help her. Emma Nelson had finally committed suicide.

* * *

**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything, just Manny's pregnancy, Andrew Cameron and Tyler Nash-Cameron. I don't even own the song—it belongs to the second best rock band in the world: SIMPLE PLAN!

* * *

Well, yeah, that ending was kind of—there's not really a way to describe it. But, it had to be done. For reasons that are obvious in this one-shot-chapter and the others that lie ahead. This story is going to be so good… 


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